Do you beat yourself up for beating yourself up?

I remember when I first started working on my self talk, and my attitude towards myself, another destructive pattern would pop up. My intention was to be kinder to myself, but my inner perfectionist reared her ugly head… I would find myself getting mad at myself for talking to myself in a mean way. I would tell myself I wasn’t doing it “right.” In trying to change the way that I related to myself, my sneaky inner critic found a new way to make me feel bad. I was mean to myself about not being nice enough to myself, LOL! 🙉🙉🙉

I found this cropping up a bit way later down the line in my personal growth journey as well. When I first became a coach, I had this notion that I had to be completely “healed” to help others. I was ashamed any time I struggled because I felt I had to set this pristine example. I would think things like “why aren’t I over this yet?”, or “I can’t believe after all this work on myself, I’m still feeling this way…”. I would shame myself for shaming myself. Beat myself up for beating myself up. Get mad at myself for getting mad at myself. 😡

But I have learned a few very important lessons along the way. No one is ever “done” healing. Growth doesn’t work like that. Our relationship to ourselves and our emotions will never go in a straight line. There will be ups and downs. Setbacks. New levels to adapt to. This doesn’t mean we can’t and won’t grow- quite the opposite. It means we are always growing. We are always learning new things. As long as we choose to pay attention to our inner dialogue and make time to listen to the voice of our inner guide, we will constantly be evolving. But personal growth is not a one and done situation. It will never be tied up in a pretty little bow. We must learn to use these moments as an opportunity to dig deeper and look at what is triggering us. And most importantly, instead of beating ourselves up for beating ourselves up- focus on self compassion, not judgement. If you are struggling, you are suffering. You deserve the love you would so freely give to others. 💛💛💛

I now know: 
- My mess is my message
- My vulnerability is inspiring
- My transparency is healing
- My truth is liberating
- My setbacks are always a chance to grow some more and learn more about myself

The work really is in progress, not perfection. 💫💫💫

Amber RochelleComment