How to keep your promises to yourself.
A few weeks ago I was at a leadership workshop in LA. My dear and friend and fellow coach who was running the event challenged me to do 100 Facebook Live videos in 100 days. WHOA! I accepted the challenge, not realizing quite what I was getting myself into! I did about nine days straight and then Thanksgiving came along. 1...2...3 days passed and I didn't show up for my challenge. But instead of beat myself up over this, I decided to use it as a teaching tool.
How many times do we break promises to ourselves? Especially when it is something we KNOW will be good for us?
It's HARD to keep our commitments to ourselves. We start out with the best of intentions and then- life happens!! Resistance rises. Self worth issues come up. We get busy, we get scared, we talk ourselves out of it's importance... So how will we ever be able to lose those 10 lbs, meditate daily, carve out more self care time, have a consistent morning routine, etc.?
Well, you aren't going to get there by beating yourself up over it. Rarely are we motivated by meanness. "Should-ing" on yourself and judging yourself when you break a commitment will only make you more likely to break it again. So what can you do instead if you are struggling to maintain a new habit? When resistance hits, and you don't keep your promise, be curious with compassion. Explore the resistance! WHY didn't you keep your promise to yourself? Was it because you were putting too much pressure on yourself? Was it because you didn't have the right support systems in place? Was it because maybe you didn't actually really even WANT to make that commitment but felt you "should?"
When you can withhold judgement and be curious with compassion, you are setting yourself up for success. Because the road to consistency is never perfect. This isn't about perfect. It's about showing up for yourself, and loving yourself through it- even on days when it's hard, or you just literally can't even!
So make it easier on yourself. Instead of saying for example that you are going to meditate 7 days a week for 20 minutes a day- start with 3 days a week for 5 minutes. Make it ridiculously easy in the beginning. Then, you will feel confident and good about your success and you can work up from there.
Setting yourself up for success can also look like getting an accountability buddy. Or using technology to help you out. I use an app called Habit List to keep accountable for my self care practices and goals with myself. It sends me daily reminders and let's me check off each day I've succeeded. A simple tool but highly motivating!
My most important tool, however, for keeping promises to myself, is my WHY.Getting connected to your why is the #1 best thing you can do to stay consistent with your goals. What is your "why"? It's the core root of why you are doing something. And it's not just surface level- you have to dig deep. So for example, you could say I want to lose 10 lbs because I want to look good. And that's totally fine! BUT- how about I want to lose 10 lbs so I can FEEL good in my body and raise my confidence and be healthier so I can be a better role model for my children! Right? Or in the case of my video challenge, my "why" isn't just about getting more clients. It's about showing up in a powerful way to speak my authentic truth so I encourage others to do the same. It's because I believe SO strongly in the work that I'm doing and SO powerfully in my message and my mission and I KNOW that through empowering sensitive women I am making a massive difference in a world that so deeply needs their gifts. BOOM. Feel the difference?
So write out your why. Dig deep. Post it in your journal or somewhere that you can see it daily. And any time the resistance comes up, or you're struggling with self worth, sit down and read that "why" and FEEL into it.
Whatever your goals or promises to yourself are- I KNOW you can meet them. Be curious with compassion, make it easy, set yourself up for success, and always ALWAYS come back to your why.
If you're not already in the Super Sensitives Facebook group, join us today so you can connect with your tribe and keep up with my daily video challenge!